Missing

Is a strange feeling when we look back and we regret all the steps that we made. Leaving school, not caring about family, being around all day with nothing to do, hanging out with the wrong people, lying, saying things behind our friend's back.. I guess that's part of the process of growing up.
But now we came to a point that we think "what if I like to be this girl?", "what made me change?".. At this time we can't turn back. We look at the person that we chosed 3 years ago, getting up everyday at the same time, doing the same stuff, having sex at the same hour everyday, discussing future that we know we will never have because we are two completely diffrent persons and we think exactly the opposite but we are toghether and today we don't know why. Meanwhile the time goes by and everything's still the same, but you look at yourself at the mirror sometimes and you say "damn, why am I here today?, "why wasn't I strong enough to make decisions by my own?", "Am I happy?", and that is the big question. Then this reflections in front of the mirror are happening more often, almost everyday, untill you realize that you're truly unhappy.
Now, what are you going to do about it? Are you strong enough?
Do you have the courage to tell your family that the two years that you lived appart from them were contributing to your sadness, to your depression? Do you have the courage to tell your partner that you don't want to marry him or live with his family anymore? Do you have the courage to pack your things and go while everybody's watching? Do you have the courage to turn your back to a family that despite not being yours, helped you during this time while you needed? Do you have the courage to say goodbye when you know what's expecting you? When you know all the reactions? Do you have the courage to stop crying every day? Do you have the courage to think only about yourself?

I don't know if it's possible.. Meanwhile you're 21 and 2012 is ending for the  new year to come, when everything will stay the same ..

"This time, this place,
Misused, mistakes
Too long, too late
Who was I to make you wait?
Just one chance, just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know, you know, you know...
(Chorus)
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore ."